Faux sympathy,

Nights like these when I sit alone in my room, sobbing my eyes out, and hating myself for doing it.

I know we're not as close as we used to be, but you could've told me face to face that you guys were going on a holiday without me. How is it cool to tell it to me in a text, and telling me you're sorry? Especially since we JUST met last night, you could've had the decency to let me know. But whatever la ok I've had enough of faux sympathy from people.

And can I just mention how pissed off I am at myself for giving people courtesy replies simply because I don't want to offend them or have them think that I don't like them.

A couple of weeks ago, when holiday plans were still on.

J: We're asking M along, are you okay with travelling with her?
Me: (Wtf I don't even talk to her and I'm not close to her in the least bit and you expect me to travel with her? Ugh but I shall just reply nicely because I don't want them to think I'm too bitchy.) Yeah I'm fine with it.

Text received just 30 minutes ago.

K: ............... we really wanted you to come along but M doesn't feel comfortable travelling with you...........

Gee thanks. You can't even imagine the amount of hurt and betrayal and anger I feel right now. Why am I so weak to cry over things like this? Why do I affected so easily? Why am I so weak?

I was a fool for wanting to save this friendship.

P/s: Quite thankful for Sally, Rachel, Sherdale, Amos and Ian for the nonsense on whatsapp now though I'm not replying. They don't know it, but I feel better just reading through the conversation and the things they're saying.